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Post by ΨBarnacleBrainBrantΨ on Apr 16, 2007 16:23:18 GMT 6
ok this thread is not a joke!, or maybe it is...or maybe im joking...who knows the mods may lock this thread as a joke?
lol post all ur jokes HERE!
heres something i read, altair pmed me this one!
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room start listening him.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
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Post by Altaïr47 on Apr 16, 2007 16:29:20 GMT 6
A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Arabic desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there. The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have "urges". That's why we have Molly the Camel."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges", so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges". Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent.
Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane ~censored~ with the camel.
When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
No not really, sir...
"They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."
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Post by Diablo IV on Apr 16, 2007 17:29:34 GMT 6
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Post by vee-en on Apr 16, 2007 20:26:11 GMT 6
saare dekhe hue hai man....orkut par aate rehte hai...!!  |
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Post by blaazeofury on Apr 18, 2007 12:19:42 GMT 6
Once an Indian Airlines flight was travelling between Kolkatta to Chennai. An announcement came from pilot's cab. " Dear passengers, this flight is having some major technical snag. We have no other option & very soon we will be crash landing to the ocean.
All passengers started screaming and shouting. Flight attendants tried to pacify them but in vain.
Soon the second announcement came from pilot. " Dear passengers, for the benefit of passengers, we shall make some rearrangement of seating. All those who know swimming shall sit on the left hand side seats of the plane and those who do not know swimming may sit on the right hand side seats of the plane.
All passengers had slight sigh of relief and started rearranging their seats as per the pilot's instruction and waited for further announcement.
Soon the third announcement came from the pilot. " Dear passengers, thanks for your cooperation in rearranging your seats. Now we are going to land in the ocean. Those who are seated on the left hand side, may please open the emergency exit and dive into the ocean and start swimming.
Those who are seated on the right
" Thank you for flying with Indian Airlines "
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Post by vee-en on Apr 18, 2007 17:21:11 GMT 6
hahaha....good one....never heard this one...!!
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Post by blaazeofury on Apr 18, 2007 17:42:25 GMT 6
A few more then..!!  ************************************************ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law. ************************************************** Once Laloo Prasad of Bihar, sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation. A few days later he got this reply:-"Dear Mr. Laloo prasad, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks" Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hoon."Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter angreeze main hai is liyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee karoonga. Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ---- pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai Please do not send any further correspondence ---- ab letter vetter bhejnay ka kaouno zaroorat nahee. No phone call ---- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi |
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Post by KC on Apr 18, 2007 19:28:16 GMT 6
a very simple joke.
aishwarya (finally) deciding to marry
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Post by OceansAndEarth on Apr 18, 2007 19:33:40 GMT 6
Even simpler:
Gamespot News:
Assassin's Creed and Warhawk are already available in India's Pallika Bazaar.
Ubisoft and Incognito's secret liaisons with India exposed!!
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Post by KC on Apr 19, 2007 13:22:39 GMT 6
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Post by ΨBarnacleBrainBrantΨ on Apr 19, 2007 13:47:42 GMT 6
hahahahaha yea i had seen that one before i guess it was ebaumsworld
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Post by KC on Apr 19, 2007 14:34:35 GMT 6
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Post by blaazeofury on Apr 19, 2007 15:10:10 GMT 6
Lol!! Good one dude...luv the MGS 5 Subtitle!!  |
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Post by vee-en on Apr 19, 2007 22:03:18 GMT 6
hahah...nice one KC...
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Post by Altaïr47 on Apr 20, 2007 11:30:56 GMT 6
a hideous kojima game lol |
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